At the onset, I’d like to make a couple of bullet points to this presentation:
- This is written from the perspective of someone who plays first person shooters primarily on Xbox 360. I am, in no way, proficient in said games.
- The videos up here are from YouTube, which, more or less, frees me from any liability of exploiting your bad behavior if you happen to be reading this and you’re one of the unfortunate souls I’ve used.
- No, I will NOT give you my Gamertag. I have no desire to have someone making it a point to be hunting me across servers. Also, this way, I can maintain a generally unmolested state.
With that said, I’ll be posting videos throughout this post, by way of examples and general amusement.
It never fails to amaze me how the first words out of someone’s mouth when talking trash over a microphone while playing a competitive game has something to do with race or sexuality. Perhaps it’s just an easy target, but goddammit, I want some more creative insults out there! When I hear the usual run of faggotniggerspicwhiteygaybococksucker, etcetera, I just sigh. Can’t we be more creative? I propose to you that instead of racial and sexual slurs, let’s do things a little differently. Expand your horizons! Say “merde,” or call someone a scallywag.
Try not to play when you’re drunk. People who play when they’re drunk sound like the guy who serves me my tacos at 1AM at the drive thru. Also, it should be pointed out that if you’re pointing out how pathetic someone is for playing a game, there’s a chance that you’re a bigger ass than whomever you’re ragging on.
If your balls haven’t dropped yet, chances are good that you shouldn’t be calling someone a faggot. How can someone who hasn’t quite realized their own sexuality denigrate someone else’s? The best thing to do in this situation is to laugh and trust that there’s a fine sense of irony in our universe.
I hate campers. Yes, it’s part of the game, and yes, it’s a legitamite strategy. Still, I dislike ‘em. You can’t have a decent game if everyone finds a high spot and sniper rifle. Since it’s unavoidable, just run in random directions. Hopefully, their lack of skill will overwhelm the fact that whoever it is behind the scope may very well suck at aiming. Serpentine! Also, no matter what, carry a shotgun. Or knife’em, if you’re vindictive like me. When I’m lucky.
Stop complaining about in game perks. If you don’t like them, don’t use them. If someone else is using them, then you’ll just have to kill them twice as viciously. Trust me, bitching and moaning gets you nowhere but laughed at.
Just remember, it may be just a game, but there are other people out there, too. If your good time is contingent on ruining other people’s, then go join your local police force. Remember, people paid for this service, so don’t be an asshole.
Thanks for your support.
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